I go to see my doctor in 13 days.

I have to get my airplane tickets and all that.

I was scared to death, but now the calm is back. I can't wait to meet Dr. Zahn face to face. I am going in with a huge list of questions for him. Including: hey, I scar pretty heavily: how do I keep my abdominal muscles from hardening the way my wrist muscles did after my carpal tunnel release?

I've been mostly remotivating myself. Everytime I go up and down the stairs I hear my knees scrape together and it's so painful.

Looking at before and after shots of people at Obesity Help has really been motivational. Some of the changes are just so dramatic. It isn't just the weight loss, it's the look on their faces: they look like totally different people. Some of them look ten, fifteen years younger. It really is amazing.

I have been packing for our move and looking at all my winter clothes thinking, "By January or February, that won't fit me anymore".

You know I'll be taking photos.

In fact I want to do week by week photos in the same clothes and the same location.

I may not be able to afford the thinner me. I could seriously become a clothes horse.

I have two goals in mind: the normal goal where I'll be happy, and the secret goal weight where I look like a million bucks.

Doc likes the secret goal weight better, but in my heart I cannot imagine weighing that little.

ciao - 08 July 2005
Give Us Candor - 29 June 2005
Not even Johnny Depp is better than sleep - 26 June 2005
breathe - 25 June 2005
the joy of pepsi... or something - 22 June 2005

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