Friday 3 December
The rest of my hospital stay is uneventful. I get about � an ounce of Cream of Wheat down. It feels good to have something ~ anything ~ with a little texture and body to it. I pass gas, and that�s my last hurdle that I have to clear before I get to leave. The threat of an enema is enough to get my system going. I have endured so much in the way of humiliating medical treatment during this procedure, I�ll be damned if I�ll do any more.
I spend the night at the hotel, and have to get very seriously stoned on Vicodin before I can lie flat on my back in the bed. It�s a struggle to get all the way down without feeling as if my stitches will burst open at any moment.
I also take my first post-op shower, and it feels so good to have the hot water sluice over my body, particularly my back, the muscles of which are screaming for relief. Dr. Zahn says my back hurts in part because of how much pressure they put on my ribs during surgery but it�s also sore because it�s trying to hold up this big injured belly. The shower does me wonders and I sleep, the first real sleep I�ve had in a week. I get up only once to pee and get more drugs.
And here I am typing.
Sunday 5 December 2004
I got up around 9:00 am, which means I slept, on and off, for about 10 hours. I did have to re-drug myself, this time with half the amount though, of Vicodin. The husband is still asleep, which is not odd considering he was up until 3:00 am playing his computer game. He ostensibly brought the laptop so that I could play the Sims, but we all know it was so he could play Wizardry. I don�t really mind at all, but we were planning on going out today to Wal Mart, to return this god-awful protein he purchased. I told him what to get: Sugar Free Carnation Instant Breakfast. That�s what they had in the hospital and it tasted so good to me. He claims they didn�t have it (uh huh, yeah right) and so instead got Slim Fast Sugar Free and some powdered stuff called Aria.
The nutritionist specifically told us not to have Slim Fast; it has far too little protein. When he brought it home, the husband and I fought about it and he looked at the label saying, �It has 14 grams of protein!� I pointed out that the cans are each 11 ounces, which is almost 50% more than what I am supposed to be drinking in one sitting. I did try half a can mixed with some of the Aria protein but it was like drinking paint it was so thick. I tried the Aria mixed with milk and even the husband agreed it was completely flavorless. So we�re taking them back today and I am certain that I can miraculously find the Carnation Instant Breakfasts I wanted.
Who knows when we�ll go though, since he was up so late? It really irritates me when he does this.
Yesterday the husband made me look straight at his face while he examined mine. He concluded that my face was thinner. I think he may be right, but there�s no way to tell for sure. Something damn well better be thinner. I still cannot quite make myself believe that I will be losing weight. I couldn�t bring myself to donate my summer clothes in the largest of sizes. I can�t wrap my mind around the fact that I will not need them this year. It seems surreal. This whole experience has been surreal.
I had some issues with �head hunger� yesterday. I am still not in the slightest bit hungry, mind you. It�s a very bizarre feeling for me. But a Pizza Hut ad came on and it looked so good. I knew I didn�t want to eat it, knew that I wasn�t hungry and that if I did try for some reason to eat that pizza, I�d be in a world of hurt. But the idea of it was so appealing.
It wasn�t until later that night that it hit me what I was craving was the texture, the feel of the pizza in my mouth. Not the taste of it even, just the texture.
So I�ll be getting some sugar free Popsicles today as well, so I have something to chew. Dryers makes a no sugar added fruit version that is really delicious, and it counts towards my fluid intake.
ciao - 08 July 2005
Give Us Candor - 29 June 2005
Not even Johnny Depp is better than sleep - 26 June 2005
breathe - 25 June 2005
the joy of pepsi... or something - 22 June 2005
Before and After
current entry // past entries // profile // notes // sign // photo // design // host