Tuesday 8:15 pm:

Probably should not be writing directly after reading Bridget Jones as entires always sound remarkably like Helen Fielding novel.

Am on airplane to Phoenix. V. good. Airplane still on ground and filling up rapidly. Am mesmerized by very Vegas-style breasts of showgirl type girl in aisle. Must be quite painful to lug around.

Am also v. squished at moment.

Okay, enough of that. I decided that reather than spend $8 on a ticket to see a crappy rendition of Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason in the theaters, I'd spend $10.50 to read the book. Hopefully it'll help me relax and sleep. I am staying at the Motel 6, which brings back rather fond memories of my senior year in high school and dating my husband. Back then we'd pay $25 and shag all night (sorry, momentary British relapse). Tonight I am paying $47 for the privledge of sleeping on the crappy bed for six hours.

Don't know if I'll manage to type this all out. I wanted to bring the laptop but the husband was having none of it. I can't really blame him with the way security is these days. It amazes me that I can bring lighters, matches and all manner of incendiary devices but must not be allowed to have nail clippers.

It's a mad, mad, mad, mad world.

This plane is so bloody hot. Showgirl must be sweating like a stuck pig in her cute but non-travel friendly sweater set.

V. v. hot in here.

Tomorrow I go to a group meeting with Dr. Zahn where he explains the surgery to us then I get to meet with him to discuss my labs ~ whee! Must remember to ask him for a sedative for the night before.

Flight attendants both v. cute. One has same unusual name as Long Lost Love. Odd.

So very bloody hot.

Wednesday 1:20 pm

Love walking through the airport with sunglasses on, making long purposeful strides along moving sidewalk in manner of famous Movie Star.

Also love reading Helen Fielding novels.

Must stop obnoxious inner monologue done in faux-British accent.

I got searched at the airport which was a trip. It wasn't bad at all, and since I wasn't carrying anything scary or dangerous (like a nail file) it went by pretty quickly.

Okay, my labs looked great, my cholesterol dropped 20 points (hurrah!) but I gained 4 lbs. (bloody hell). Oh well. I'm a go for next Wednesday.

Had big group meeting with other idiots who want their guts tampered with. I had a moment of sheer terror and panic, looking at the big diagram of my innerds and all the Scary Black Marks made by Dr. Zahn in an attempt to explain the procedure. I felt my face drain of all blood, and got literally nauseous, to the point where I almost had to run out of the room.

By the time I got to my private consult with Dr. Z I was better but remembered to ask for a sedative. He told me it was normal to be scared but he didn't want me terrified. He wrote me a script and told me to take it Tuesday night (after I do my horrible horrible bowel prep which will send me into fits of violent diarrhea for hours on end). Then he said, "Take it Monday night too, and if you don't feel like it helped enough, call me and we'll talk to the anesthesiologist about getting you something stronger." He also told me I could really doped up the morning of, if necessary.

Then he did the strangest thing. He said, "I'd really like to give you a hug" and reached down and hugged me.

Not a polite, "there there" kind of hug, a real, honest to goodness tight squeeze. He said, "I can't promise you that nothing will go wrong but I can tell you that you are my ideal surgical candidate. You're going to be fine."

How's that for odd behavior from a surgeon? Normally such overt displays would make me seriously uncomfortable but strangely, I felt a lot better.

I begin my liquid protien diet tomorrow afternoon. I am not pleased with this whole idea and frankly find it stupid: If I could sincerely limit myself to protien shakes and sugar free liquids, would I honestly be needing this surgery? Oh well, I will do it though. I told the husband he's in charge of cooking for the kids though. I don't want to do it.

Am hungry now and will make myself a protein shake in a minute. Am also over-tired and stressed from traveling on this, the most Unholy Travel Day Ever.

So that's that.

I am really, truely going to do this.

ciao - 08 July 2005
Give Us Candor - 29 June 2005
Not even Johnny Depp is better than sleep - 26 June 2005
breathe - 25 June 2005
the joy of pepsi... or something - 22 June 2005

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