I am going to Phoenix on 13 February. Have I said that before? If not, let me say it now. I am getting more and more excited because it's getting closer and closer. I think I'll be scheduled for surgery in May or June. It seems so far away but I know it will be here before I know it.

I am so looking forward to this surgery. I cannot wait. I know it will be hard, and I am more than a little nervous about certain aspects, like never again being able to enjoy a Dr Pepper, which is the hardest restriction I have heard so far. The part about watching sugar intake and packing in protien sounds fine. The no more Dr Pepper almost made me cry.

I keep focusing on the fact that I will be thinner. And maybe even thin. I keep saying I am doing this for my health and that's the truth. I don't want to be in my 50s and unable to climb stairs, or play with my grandkids, or take a walk. I don't want to become my mother.

But the more immediate payoff of looking good is very seductive. Just imagining it makes me walk taller and feel better. I have made mental lists of all the stores I want to shop in: The Gap, Ann Taylor and bebe. I want cute jeans and small tops I can tuck in and sexy little panties from Victoria's Secret. I want a definable waist and slim calves and arms that don't jiggle when I wave. I want to go to Banana Republic and Old Navy and hell, even Target to get some of those Isaak Mizrahi items. I want Jimmy Choos and a Versace gown.

Okay that last part is a bit far fetched financially but I am telling you I am going to do it.

To me the tradeoff of not being able to drink Dr Pepper seems worth it.

ciao - 08 July 2005
Give Us Candor - 29 June 2005
Not even Johnny Depp is better than sleep - 26 June 2005
breathe - 25 June 2005
the joy of pepsi... or something - 22 June 2005

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